Rude

I live in Venice, which is in the Veneto region of Italy. I have, however, travelled quite a bit throughout the country, lived briefly in Tuscany and I visit Campania regularly. My boyfriend is Pugliese and my closest friends and from Alghero, Brindisi, and the Amalfi coast.

For those of you who also live in Italy you can appreciate the vast differences in character between the people in the different regions. For those who are less familiar with the country you might be surprised to know that Italians are hugely different among themselves. Obviously there are some generalizations that have been made about Southerners being more friendly and open, but I think that even within the north and the south there are some stunning inconsistencies in how people behave, react, think and decide.

I choose to live in Venice and have thus far refrained from complaining but I think it is time that I let on to one of my biggest peeves about the Veneto. The people here are SO RUDE. Yes, this is an obvious generalization and I have of course met many lovely people in the 5 years that I have lived here, but I gotta say that never in my entire life have I come across a group of people so racist, bigoted, xenophobic, touchy, aggressive and out-and-out IMPOLITE as here in the Veneto. Sounds great, doesn't it? This is not to say that I do not like living here-- I do. I choose to. I lived here long before meeting my boyfriend, so it is not as though I live here to be with him. My career here is very flexible so it is not as though I must stay in Venice for that. I stay here because I love the way of life. I love jogging at midnight and walking everywhere. I love the mix of culture and small town feel. And strangely enough, the whole "rude" thing is growing on me. (Not, I must say, on Giuseppe, who has lived in Venice for 4 years and does not like it. This though, is also typical of many Italians who have trouble accepting the people and ways of life of other Italians not from their region. I laugh a bit at him for this.)

Back to the rudeness. I live near a teeny tiny narrow little street where people can only walk in one direction at a time. The length of this street is a mere 7 meters. If someone is coming from the other direction you must wait about 15 seconds for him or her to come out at your end before you can enter. Today I was walking down the calle (and I am a fast walker) and at the other end I saw a neighbor who was waiting to pass. Behind the neighbor was a Venetian couple in their forties. I arrived at the end of the calle and said "ciao" to the person I knew. The woman of the couple (so often it is women who are snappy, why is that??) then snidely mocks me by saying "ciao" and making a "che palle" hand gesture as if to indicate that I took way too long to walk the last 3 meters of the calle and how dare I waste an extra half a second to say ciao to a person I knew instead of running by and saying excuse me. Why are her panties in such a twist? Why are some people so unhappy that they can't even be civil?

This is just an example. Store clerks and shop assistants are another noteworthy example. I have never witnessed such bad sales methods as those of the Veneto's commesse who see customers as an interuption and become offended if you choose not to purchase. When I lived in Padua I used to pretend not speak Italian so that they would think I was a tourist because GOD FORBID I was some type of immigrant. How many times while house hunting in Padua did I get told to my face that they would not rent to me because I was a foreigner, or even worse, not told to my face but being led on for weeks and ending up with a vague "no" and phones calls without responses. Venice is a little better on this front as they are a bit more used to foreigners.

People do not smile here.

Everyone pushes by without saying excuse me and invent crazy laws and rules just so they can have something to complain about. Tobias Jones hints at this in his book, "The Dark Heart of Italy" noting that Italy has more laws than any other Western country, most of which can easily be broken without any consequence.

I have many clients who arrive with some story about the ticket-seller or parking attendent who was unbelieveably rude. They are shocked that a city based on tourism could treat it's livelihood so horribly. Other places in Italy are not like this and I do not want to exaggerate--there are plenty of wonderful Venetians and the city is an absolute must-see. I would never discourage anyone from visiting Venice, but I just had to get this out.

Most frightening, I see myself becoming a bit like them. I smile less (and I notice better results form smiling less--as though people take me more seriously). I brush by someone without necessarily saying "scusi". I give stern looks when people block the streets or the water bus entrances. It's horrible! I need to stop! I don't want my (non-existent) children to be like this! I am becoming too Venetian!